TRAILER FIGHTS (Comedic Poetry)

My old lady won’t stop whining.

Guess tonight we won’t be dining.

Not quite sure why she’s so riled,

Yard aint mowed and trash is piled.

Went to the bar with a friend or two;

Three lousy beers! You gonna sue?

What’s the great big honking deal?

Just cut the crap and let’s get real.

I work all day in that blazing hot sun.

Most of my lunches come in a bun.

Sweat and toil to bring home the money

Appreciate it? No not her - not my Honey

House is a mess it’s not a lie.

What’d you do today in this pig sty?

Sit on your butt and watch the tube?

Maybe your ex-boyfriend came by for a lube?

Dishes still piled there in the sink,

Is the washing machine still on the blink?

I bring home the bacon day after day

Slave to support your ungrateful ways

Romance and flowers? – YADA YADA YADA!

Just as well say nothing, I don’t hear NADA.

For Christ’s sake just one more beer,

Next week I promise I’ll be a dear.

I’ll work around the house and get stuff done

Please stop whining, let’s have some fun.

What you mean I best be quiet?

You and what Army’s gonna start this riot?

What you gonna do with that there bat?

Teach me a lesson about where it’s at?

Your butt just got saved by the bell.

Shut your piehole or just go to hell.

Hello officer. No were perfectly all right.

We didn’t call the cops. Just a little fight.

Minor disagreement over the bills and all.

Disturbed the neighbor who made that call?

Sorry about that. We’ll kiss and make up.

By the way this lovely woman is my buttercup.

She’s the absolute light of my life.

No problem here. Just marital strife.

Cops are gone. I’m going to bed.

We’ll see tomorrow what’s left to be said.

Maybe I’ll mow the lawn and fix that door.

Then take the little woman down to the store.

Compliment her hair and buy her a new dress.

Might manage to decrease her stress.

Yeah right! Give me another beer and shut the hell up.

Put on the fights while I fill my cup.